Truthfully Speaking

Putting Your Private Life on Front Street

The world is becoming too impersonal. Access to information is just too easily accessible. And, many times, our private information is published publicly against our own knowledge. I remember how I G.oogled my mother’s phone number some years back, and it pulled up her address and gave an option to get directions to her house via Mapquest. Access to information is just too easily accessible. Social Networking sites are wonderful for reconnecting with old friends – but we must be leery of the information that we choose to share over those mediums.

I happen to be a Twitter junkie. Perhaps, I like it because it represents a certain type of intrigue I have with the idea of humanizing celebrities. To think that celebrities spend their days tweeting, almost makes them seem like they are just like us. It’s fun. But none of this is even the point.

I want to talk about how important it is for us to be very careful about who we allow to be privy to our private interactions. Everyone has a private life. Some people are more comfortable with sharing some of those details with the public. But I believe we all have that thing that we don’t want to share with EVERYONE. Some of us (myself included) have affinities for some very strange and interesting things.

Don’t get to a place where you feel comfortable talking about those strange things to a stranger and then have it put out there later on. I think about celebrities who have had books put out about them. I wonder if they regret some of the things they revealed to people they deemed to be trustworthy. Shoot, I know that I regret some of the things I’ve said to people I thought were trustworthy.

By my own admission, I am extremely paranoid. And sometimes, I act like I’m more important than I really am. Perhaps that’s because I believe that I will be more important than I am currently. People wonder why I am so cautious of the things I say and who I say those things to. It’s simply because I don’t want to find my personal business posted in some popular publication or on some celebrity gossip channel. Look at these politicians and the scandals that break about them.

Every time I see these things I can’t help but think that they wouldn’t have been dealing with this, had they chosen their listening party or willing participant a little more wisely. I mean, sure, avoiding the foolishness altogether would have been the better option, but I’m not writing about what we should do.

Even though I’m nobody, I believe that you should take this advice from me:

“If you don’t want it to come to light, don’t make it a topic of conversation. Don’t blog it! Don’t tweet it (all you public timeline folk are now cataloged in the Library of Congress)! Don’t put it on Facebook! Shoot, don’t even write it in your diary. Keep your mess private.”

My DC

I love DC – my romanticized, gentrified, manicured façade. I love leaving my house and being able to walk across to the new wine bar, taking a walk down to the “Old Town” area, watching the hippies play instruments, talking to the vendors at the farmer’s market, and even smiling about the muslim gentleman that uses one of my parking spaces as his place of refuge and worship. I love to watch him as he puts his cellphone on speaker and sounds of muslim chants fill the air while he kneels prostrate. In my mind, and in my world, I am safe.

But when I come to work, I see a different DC. I see a place that is unsafe at certain hours of the evening, buildings with broken windows and cars with tires stolen – burnt. I see homeless men and women begging daily. I see shelters being emptied out. I see (what I believe to be) crazy folk walking down the streets talking to themselves and possibly others in their heads. I see people who feel trapped – who think that DC is a prison. I see people who feel hopeless – that can’t convey how they feel about the fact that people like me have moved into their homes and have taken all the “good” jobs. Of course there’s more to that though.

I moved to this place because I believed that there was opportunity for a young and intelligent black girl to become a successful black woman. I believed that if I came to a place that was smaller than where I was from, I could slowly find and create a niche for myself. And, I’ve slowly but surely done that. I do admit that I live a good life. And perhaps people might feel that I am from a place of privilege. Let me be crystal clear about that – I am a product of the ghetto!

But, what I brought with me was a certain sense of hope. I thought about the people that were implants in my community while I was growing up – those who got the jobs that we couldn’t get, and I realized that we absolutely could get them. It’s not okay to sit back and be upset by the people that are coming in and taking jobs if you have done nothing to be qualified for those positions. It’s not okay to say that opportunities do not exist – if you do not actively look for them. DC is a city that thrives on who you know. But if you are from this area, you “know” somebody. Quit associating with the wrong somebodies and get with the program.

I love DC. My world might be romanticized, and it certainly is gentrified. But, I worked hard to be able to experience this façade. People ask me how I am able to walk around this place and be okay with the negative things that I see. To them, I say, “I’m not okay with the things that I see. And I am committed to helping people learn that they can do better than… better than whatever.”

My mom always quoted Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s, “Heights by great men reached and kept were not obtained by sudden flight but, while their companions slept, they were toiling upward in the night. “ I can’t stop, won’t stop! Join me, or don’t!

Marathonfoto Be Damned

Dear Good People at Marathonfoto,

On Sunday, April 11, 2010, I ran my first EVER race. Prior to participating in this event, I received an email from you all that said:

By now you are ready to run in the Credit Union Cherry Blossom 10 Mile. We want you to know that you and your family will not have to worry about trying to capture your special race moments. As the official race photographer, MarathonFoto will be there to capture it for you and all of your supporting “curb crew”.

• Forward this email to your curb crew – parents, friends and family so they can relax as well.
• 72 hours after your event, follow the link below to see your photos online.

So, I made sure to be in my best running gear – matching and errthang! And whenever I saw a camera, I put on that serious runner’s pose face. I don’t know if you all understand how hard it is to run and be tired, but still keep enough energy and awareness to be able to spot the cameras and put on the “I’m gonna get through this alive” pose.

And then, when we got within 100 meters of the finish line, I picked up the pace to sprint it on out to the end. I had the victory smile on and even did a fist pump for all my people out there!

I know you said within 72 hours, but I was pressed. And so, when I got home, I will admit that I went to my email and clicked the link – just to see the message that said that if I left my email address, you all would email me when my pics were posted. But, I just decided to come back again.

So now, imagine the shock I felt when I clicked the link yesterday and received this message:

Please Note!

We are unable to find any of your photographs. If you would like to search the archive of unidentified photographs for this race click here

What da eff? Really? Come on now yawl. Your tagline identifies you all as being the World’s Leader in Race Photography. So, how the hell did you all miss me? Imjustsayin! I think I might be hurt – suicidal even! I might just go stick an acupuncture needle in my wrist.

And since no one was there to take pictures of me running (cuz they were all running too, and you can’t depend on little teenage boys to stay in one place long enough. It’s a miracle they even woke up.), it’s like I never even participated.

And so, I just wanted to take the time out to say, “EFF YOU VERY MUCH!”

Yours truly,

Naið

Thoughts on another Slore!

I shouldn’t have, but i posted the article from US Magazine here. My response comes after. I’m interested in your responses:

USMagazine, April 12, 2010

Related: News, Fights and Feuds, Sandra Bullock, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee

Michelle McGee says she owes Sandra Bullock “a heartfelt apology” after carrying on a torrid 11-month affair with her husband, Jesse James.

“I do feel guilty. I feed bad for Sandra,” McGee tells Australian TV show TodayTonight (via Yahoo!) in a new interview.

When asked what she would say to the Oscar winner, 45, McGee replies, “I’m sorry for your embarrassment. I’m sorry all this is public. I’m sorry for everything.”McGee — who was paid $30,000 to sell her story to a tabloid — says she understands what Bullock is “going through.

“She must be hurt, devastated, upset, embarrassed. I want to give her a heartfelt apology,” she adds. “I’m sorry for her embarrassment and pain. I do feel really bad about it.”But McGee blames James for claiming he was separated from Bullock when she first hooked up with him.

“I feel like I was duped just as much as Sandra was. I feel like I was lied to just as much as she was,” she says. “If Jesse was upfront with me in the beginning, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”McGee also speculates on why James was attracted to Bullock. “Maybe he was attracted to her goodness, the cleanliness of it?”

McGee says she slept with James “two or three times” after their first face-to-face meeting at his West Coast Choppers shop. (She’d reached out to him just a week earlier on MySpace.) “I did know he was married to Sandra. When we were sitting on a couch watching a movie, he leaned over to kiss me, and I said, ‘Slow down! What’s going on between you and Sandra?’” McGee explains. “He said, ‘She lives in Austin, I live here. We’re not together because she’s filming a movie…’ I believed him…. he

said he didn’t want to talk about it, I assumed because of legalities.”

McGee says they were hot and heavy for two months, but didn’t see each other as often for the next nine months. He texted her every day. Still, she was “not in love” with James, she says.”I cared about him. My feelings were growing toward him,” McGee says.

Here’s what went through Cee’s (that’s me) head:

Is this slore for real? I mean really! You don’t owe Sandra anything. She owes you an ol’ fashion Brooklyn-cracked and jagged glass bottled-face smeared with Vaseline- head tied-whoopin. And, not for any other reason but to say, “I got your goodness -trick!”

It blows my mind when these broads have the nerve to act like they want to apologize when they knew from 21 Jumpstreet, that they had all intentions of being the sidewhore in someone’s relationship. And, let me be clear – I am not mad at you if that’s your thing. What I’m mad about, is the sheer gall that it takes for you to now act like you are sorry.

Sandra Bullock isn’t me. “I ain’t nobody!” But, you can Google her and find out ALL her info. And the fact of the matter is that, it was public knowledge that she was and still, is married. So, even if this dude did try to jump all in her pants and give her the biznass, she could have taken the high road and declined the offers. However, it was her skank ass that initiated contact with him via….MYSPACE!

How do you initiate contact with a celebrity’s significant other and then turn around and say that you didn’t know that they were still together? You must think I’m booboo the mufuggin fool! Real talk, she decided to pursue him and he, being a cheater anyhow, was with it. Now, $30,000 later, she has the nerve to go on some show talkinboutsum, “I felt duped.” I’m done with these hoes! I’m really just done with them.

Running the 2010 Cherry Blossom Race

A few months ago, my aunt sent me a text message informing me that the family had decided to sign up for the Credit Union Cherry Blossom Ten Miler. They had decided to form a team called the “Reggae Runners (we’re so West Indian, it’s embarrassing).” The interesting thing about this race was that entry was contingent on being chosen from a lottery pool. So, we would essentially have to sign up, give up our credit card information, and wait to see if we were chosen. Now, anyone who knows me knows that “I ain’t neva won nuttin in my whole life.” In fact, my luck is so bad that I warn people not to use me as a partner – for fear of them jeopardizing their own chances. My family always told me that, “If it weren’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” So, when my aunt invited me to get down with the crew for this chance to run in a 10 miler, I knew that there would be no way in H-E- double hockey sticks we would be chosen. Don’t judge me. I felt pressure. So, I couldn’t say no. Imagine me saying that I wouldn’t do it when even my crippled couch potato cousins were talking about running. I.JUST.HAD.TO.SAY.YES! And, after I said yes, I felt good. I continued to go along with business as usual.

Now, I have two messed up knees from years of basketball playing. I sustained my first major injury about 6 months ago when I sprinted down the court after an opponent and pulled a muscle in my friggin quadricep. Ever since then, I’ve taken it easy with running too hard. In addition to that injury, I’ve been playing with some “extra” baggage. Prior to the text message from my aunt, I couldn’t run anywhere for more than 1 minute. When I was younger, I could easily run sprint speeds. Long distance dictated that I stayed focus on one thing for too long. But, I digress.

So, there I was reading my email one day, when I get an email from the people at the Cherry Blossom talkinboutsum our team got selected to run in the Cherry Blossom Ten Miler. Again, “I ain’t NEVA won NUTTIN in my whole life” and this is the one thing that they choose to allow me to win? Ugh, I really have bad luck!

All this to say that I had to begin training. I went from only being able to run for about 1 minute straight to running (at a very slow pace) for 3 miles straight. But then, I sustained an injury. And, to be honest, I was really disappointed. Even though I didn’t see transformation in my body, I knew that I had the ability to really run this race. Fear of what would happen if I continued to train for the ten miler and pressure of a deadline date to switch the 5K, really caused me to make my decision to switch over. Then, taking a chance, I stopped training with one month left before the race. My reasoning is simple – my knees would bother me right after I would do any form of working out and I knew that I wanted to run the race. I’d found that after a couple of weeks of inactivity, my knee would feel so much better. I know that I should have been doing other types of exercise, but I did nothing. Instead, I mentally prepared for the race.

On, Sunday, April 11, 2010, I ran the Credit Union Cherry Blossom 5K. It was exhilarating. For years now, I’ve been supporting my sister and uncle in their running ventures. My cousins came down from NJ and ran in the race as well. My sister, my cousin, my uncle, my aunt, a family friend, and my sister’s boyfriend all stuck with the ten miler and did the Reggae Runners proud. It was the first race ever for two of them. My two cousins and I ran the 5K. That was the first race ever for all three of us. And guys, it felt sooooooooo good. I’ve already committed to running the 10 miler next year. I also tried to sign up to run the Army 10 miler scheduled for October, but it’s already closed.

Sometimes, you need to do something rash (but positive). If I didn’t agree to run that race, I would have been watching from the sidelines. And even though I might have been fine with that, it felt so much better to be a participant. I hope you all had an awesome weekend!