Truthfully Speaking

Hiding information in Plain Sight

I took a set of 2^nd and 3^rd graders to
the Newseum yesterday. The Newseum is literally a news museum. The thought of a
museum focusing wholly on the news is a concept that encompasses boring in many
people’s minds. But the Newseum is far from boring. In the plans, they made
certain to create a place that encourages learning and that appeals to all
levels of reading and understanding. It is just an awesome place.

While it is a costly museum, the good people there have
joined with WTOP 103.5 and the Washington Post, to make this experience free to
school aged students in the Washington DC Metro area. Yet, many educators have
not utilized the opportunity. Why is it that we do not see the importance or
relevance in making certain that our students understand about the freedoms
that we are able to exercise in America regarding the press? Why do we keep
them ignorant?

When we walked into the museum, one of the workers noticed
us – and immediately pointed out how young and orderly the kids were (keep in
mind that I spent weeks drilling them on how to behave and threatening them
with what would happen if they embarrassed me, themselves, and the school). I
thanked her for the compliment and proceeded to give the students and chaperones
the instructions and itinerary for the day.

While there, we witnessed school groups of other students
behaving like wild monkeys straight out of the wild. One child threw a jacket
from the 5^th floor to the concourse level. I shook my head and then
began to rant about all that I would do if one of my students EVER considered
doing such an asinine thing. But, I didn’t need to because they already had
mortified looks on their faces when they saw the jacket go flying. When I say
my kids are bad, I always need to remember that they have no clue what bad
really is.

So, while everyone was wrapping up in the gift shop, I took
a walk. While on the concourse level, I ran into the lady who had greeted us at
the beginning of the trip. She began to speak to me and inquire about my
students. She asked where we were from, how did I hear about the Neweum, and
then expressed that she was so impressed that I was 1. knowledgeable about the
Newseum, and 2. interested in bringing a bunch of young black kids to this
place.

I say all of this to say, people are watching our young
black kids – and placing labels on them before they open their mouths. People
don’t often expect much from these children – and often times, our children
behave to their expectations. Educators, can I compel you to revert back to the
olden days? Let’s teach these kids to have pride in the way they carry
themselves, so that they can show the world that they are not victims of their
environments, they are simple there for a short stint. 

Precious

Some people just don't get a break. 

In my young, old age, I've become so much more emotional. I think this is the case because I've had the honor and, in many cases, the displeasure of having to deal with young students who just seem to be in bad situations in their lives. Movies like Precious help me remember why I'm so passionate about what I do. When you think your life is bad, be reminded that there is someone out there whose life is worse than yours – and then think about the fact that not all of those people use their situations as a reason to bitch and moan. Instead, they take charge of their lives and make the best of it. 

I would be lying if I said that I didn't cry. Not only did I cry, but I bawled. There were parts that I couldn't watch. It made me greatly appreciative of my life. When I was a teenager, I thought that my life and my situation was worse than anyone else that I knew. I believed that nothing positive would happen for me.  But I soon learned that trials come to make us stronger. No matter how filthy our pasts are, we do not have to be defeated by them. 

I also learned that there is a thing that we don't want to talk about – a thing that ravishes homes and lives. This mental illness that exists or becomes prevalent in lives because of one's circumstance. It's horrible how one person's decisions or lack of decision making can lead to such a horrific set of events. 

This is a story that tells a truth that you don't want to know. This is a movie that speaks frankly to issues that you can't handle. It's not a feel good film. It's not a happily ever after fairy tale. It's simply real life for real. I compel you to go watch! I think I've done a great job of not giving anything away. 

Hold on!

It’s funny how one
can get caught into the whirlwinds of life. One chance interaction- for even a
small amount of time can send you tail spinning into a semi-charmed kind of
life. It can be euphoric, overwhelming, and mysterious at the same time.

I’m getting too
fragile for chance interactions. I’m growing weary of dealing with the
afterthoughts and ramifications of being in the right place at the wrong time.
I’m just kinda tired of it. I’m tired of having to be dissected and only being
able to give portions of myself to others. At one time, the pieces used to
boomerang back together, but now – they leave and the return is uncertain.

I’m growing
resentful of my capacity to love so wholeheartedly – even when the feeling is
not reciprocated. I hear the loose bolts and feel the bumps and knockings that
exist within. The pain has become strikingly visible to others as I labor to
move without pain. The joke of having a baby face has now become the concern of
the frown lines and bags that indicate sleeplessness.

The weight remains while the appetite has disappeared. In place
of solid food, a liquid diet. Oh, my soul cries out “Bring back the days of yea and nay

When we could
plainly see the way -Then it was up to us to choose

Whether to win or
to lose -Bring back the times when we could see

What it was we
were to be -Caught in the midst of complexity

We search for yea and nay”

I feel like I’m drowning in my thoughts, but with
one hand firmly grasping the safety net above. I don’t know how much longer I
can hold on.

 Anyone, given an opportunity to get lost in their thoughts
will eventually drown in them if they don’t find a way to climb out of the deep
end. Nights have become unbearable – and days offer their own set of stressors.
I have to find a way to break through this…

Funk!

On Living Within Your Own Thoughts

What happens when the thoughts in your head are so clear and
pervasive that they consume your being, wanting to be echoed out, but just
unable to find the suitable audience to receive them? What happens when the
thoughts in your head need to be transferred out of you or even to cemented
over with lighter ones, but there are none to be found? What happens when the
answers to the questions in your head are so clear, but the solution is so far
reaching? What happens when you can’t get out of your head? What happens?

You just live! You live around and even through your
thoughts. You live with the thoughts, but you do your best not to internalize
them. Because when they are internalized, they kill. You take a deep breath and
try to start all over again. You revert back to a better place. You smile and
hope that something will become real. You hope, because when all else fails,
that’s always there. You do things that are positive – and focus on forgetting
about the negatives.

What happens when the thoughts in your head are so clear and
pervasive that they seem powerful enough to kill you? You just live!