Truthfully Speaking

When the Smoke Clears – Relationship Talk

Relationships are interesting because, without proper
communication, one can think that they are fulfilling all of their lover’s
desires when, in fact, they aren’t. That is to say, the things that we think we
do to make our significant others happy may bring them joy, but we may not be
truly meeting their ultimate desires. You might find yourself in a situation in
which your significant other is fiscally irresponsible – and so, you make a decision
to bail them out consistently or to simply provide them with a hold over
budget. Now, that’s doing a lot – but, for some people, that’s still not
enough. In fact, all we are doing is enabling a horrific habit that can lead to
true relationship discord in the future.

Have you ever been in a place in which you thought you did
everything to make your lover happy – be that, stepping outside of yourself to conform
to their way of thinking; supporting them in a career you didn’t believe they
could be successful in (ex: my ex telling me that he’s trying to be a music
exec or a music artist, so he won’t get another job because he won’t be able to
focus…sorry, I digressed), or even disregarding the advice of thinking friends
and family members to be with this person because they make you feel good? When
all the smoke clears, and they are no longer a part of your life, do you then
begin to look at the tell tale signs?

I thought I did everything in my power to make my ex happy.
But, I found out later on that I didn’t. To me, sleepless nights, constant
encouragement, and fiscal responsibility was what I thought was needed – and they
were. But, what I didn’t do was what made it end. The failure to just say, “ I
appreciate and love you” multiple times a day. What’s crazy is that, for an “I
love you” some people will give up everything else that you are giving. It’s an
important lesson to learn.

Sometimes, we need to let people know that we love them
before it’s too late. But, we also need to know when we’ve done too much and
the relationship’s end is the best thing.

“There was a time when I was your everything – and everyone
else was nothing! Now I’m nothing to you. However, I now realize that it’s not
me, but you, who has lost EVERTHING.”

 

When Great Teachers feel Unappreciated

I’ve spent
the last month or so praying and crying – but mostly crying. I think this is
happening because I finally “let go” and tried to be a shining light in a dark
and dingy tunnel. In the past few years, like most educators, I’ve
taken from my own personal reserves to have resources in my classroom. I love
my kids – even when I hate them, and I want so badly for them to succeed. And,
in doing so, I’ve been hard on them because I know that, only the strongest
survive in our world. I see their potential and I try to do everything in my
power to nurture it. But, I’m beginning to believe that my time is being wasted
on people who are quite content with mediocre education in exchange for
excessive ego stroking. I’m dealing with parents who are too cowardly to face
teachers, but are more than willing to exercise arm wrestling tactics with a
weak administration – parents who use taunts and assaults as a means of
creating an environment in which their children can feel comfortable about
their parents’ wishes for them to be suckled. And, even when they get their
wishes, refuse to stop until they have managed to reach for the jugular. And,
we wonder why the great ones leave.

After years
of bending over backwards to create a system in which I made myself overly
accessible to parents and overly accommodating of my students, I was given the
word that parents complained that I am mean and unapproachable. To add insult to
injury, they went on to explain that the FACT that the students love me is
actually a myth – and, in fact, they too are afraid of me. We’re talking about
the same kids that I exercised leniency with, the ones I took outside every
day, prayed for on a regular basis, and that I encouraged. Those kids – the ones
that came from alleged horrible years prior and that I took to Jamestown and
Yorktown, Virginia and watched as they behaved like animals on the bus in the
presence of their parents and then, as if I didn’t learn my lesson, I turned
around and took to Historic Philadelphia where I then raised enough money to
take them to a wonderful museum. I guess I just didn’t do enough. Yup, I’m
talking about the kids that I sat at school until 6pm every day and helped with
homework assignments until their parents came to pick them up – those same kids
that I allowed to receive credit for missing homework when my policy clearly
states that “I DON’T ACCEPT LATE HOMEWORK”. Those kids! The ones I didn’t even
give a lot of homework to; the kids I taught. The kids I fought for. THOSE
KIDS! Yup, they’re scared of me and I’m unapproachable. Me? Yes, me! The teacher
that responds to email within a couple hours of receiving it – EVEN WHEN THEY
SEND IT TO ME AT 12am. Yup, I’m unapproachable.

It just
makes you want to throw your hands up and say two words – one that begins with
an expletive and the other one simply, “it”. What more can I do to make them
see that I’ve done EVERYTHING a teacher can do? So, we won’t complain about the
academics, but now we decide to attack my character? I just wonder how much
lower a parent can go? One thing I can say is that when I was in the public
school, the parents didn’t care either way. Now, I’m dealing with parents who
stick around only to manipulate teachers.

I have a
dream for black young people. It stems from my mom’s constant push for us to be
the best, recognizing that the world won’t give us breaks. I believe that our
children are the best – and I push them to see that in themselves. But, I’m
finally realizing that perhaps, I’m better suited for a place where parents
understand what it takes to give their children a fighting chance. I respect a
person that will say it to my face, but I’ll NEVER respect a parent who uses
words and administration to cut down a teacher, but can’t have the BALLS to
come to me. You say that I’m unapproachable? I say that you are nothing but a
coward who chooses to hide behind a principal who will protect your identity. I
hate punks!