So Swo.opes came out the closet yesterday or whendafuckeva. Really and truly, it means nothing to me either way. As I see it and as I always say it to people, "I ain’t sleeping with her, so why should I give a good got damn who she’s sleeping with?" That being said, I know that I will offend some of my readers. But for those who I will offend by this, you already know my standpoint so don’t act shocked.
So my sister called me the other day to tell me that she thought my brother was joining the Marines. None of us believed that he would ever make a move like that. More than anything else, he’s all about disobeying rules. So, the Armed Forces just wouldn’t work out too well for him. I decided to call him and figure out whether he really was going and the conversation went something like this:
Bro: Hey sis. I may be moving out to Virginia.
Me: Oh word? Why?
Bro: Ask Boogie
Me: Why would I call E to ask her why you would be moving to Virginia if I could just find out directly from you?
Bro: Aiight. Aiight! I’m joining the Marines.
Me: ….
Me: Why the marines and not the Navy or even the Air Force?
Bro: Those dudes in the Navy are chumps.
Me: Now, I never knew that anyone that would be willing to face death for a country that doesn’t give a fuck about them could be considered to be a chump. Aren’t you afraid that they’ll send you to Iraq?
Bro: I don’t give a damn about that. If someone gave me a ticket to Iraq right now, I’d go.
[End Convo]
I ain’t bout being no blogger’s groupie. I mean, for real, no one is THAT great. Surely, there are those that I find to be super talented. But, I’m not riding no nigga’s jock and I smelling no chick’s…
Perfume….
ROFLMAO.
Let me stop. But for real though, I’ve just been kicking back and reading blogs and taking note of some stuff. It’s been, more than anything, rather eye opening and humorous. Bloggers like to act like they are just the most wonderful people on the face of the earth. Many like to make inferences about how kind they are and how objective they can be. But when you just sit back and watch, it’s amazing how much treachery exists in this realm. And it’s wonderfully exciting.
I rarely update my links. I know you are probably wondering what the hell that has to do with anything. Then again, maybe you aren’t cuz you really don’t give a good god damn. But, it does. Just bare with me for a second.
One of the reasons why I don’t update is because too many of you bloggers get to acting like this is some secret operative and your home needs to be hidden from potential burglars. So, every three weeks, you’ve moved. And I can’t keep up with that. LOL. So, I don’t change my links. Then, there are people who put people on their links to show that they know a whole bunch of people and to talk about how all those people read them too. If you are on my links, I read your stuff or did at one point in time. If you are not on my link, I either forgot to link you or don’t feel the need to have you there. The last part of the link thing that is so subtle and absolutely hilarious, is when someone deliberately removes someone’s link from their list. It’s the most subtle form of saying, “I don’t care for you.” Most of the time, it’s unbeknownst to the other person. LOL.
Look, I ain’t on here trying to make friends. I have too many as I write. So, this blogging thing is something that I do for me alone. In the time that I’ve been blogging, I’ve met some amazing people, and that has been cool. But meeting people in this forum is nothing but an added bonus to my life. Without this, I would be able to live a happy life, full of realtime drama.
I post this to say, grow up! For real. Even as funny as this is to me, it’s mostly just sad. When blogging works its best, it’s when pure discourse happens and ideas are bounced off of varying mindsets. It’s when writers step on toes, but do so in such a thoughtful way, that responding despite the hurt, is warranted.
I am not here trying to make you think that I’m a nice person. I’m here to say what the hell I feel like saying. Word on the street is that I’m not so nice anyhow. Overall, I’ve just been evaluating stuff and with trying to find time, and grad school, and work, I’ve been unable to blog as I’ve wanted to. Just felt compelled to rant about something real today.
I spent my weekend in NYC and got back to Maryland sometime last night. I enjoyed myself immensely. For a few years now, I’ve been kinda "beefed out" with my best friend. The reason is irrelevant. We never stopped speaking to each other, but the conversations were alwasys "superficial" in nature. I should just go head on and be honest about the fact that I’ve probably been the one that has been beefed out and not her.
I have this habit of holding hurts inside and not really letting the guilty party know that I am feeling this way. It’s been about 4 years since I began holding on to the feelings of ill will that took me just one night to get over.
Sometime last week, I was on the phone with the best friend, when we began to think back to the old days when we were in college together. We recanted some really funny memories from back then and continued on, discussing the "truth sessions" we all used to have.
Don’t ask me where we got this idea, but about twice a month we would have a girls night out type of thing andafter getting a bite to eat and watching a movie or something, we would then began to have an open and honest discussion about each other. I remember my first critique to be that I came off as being extremely mean to strangers. Everyone would get their chance to say what they really felt and on most nights, someone would get their feelings hurt. But we saw it as a positive thing because we sought to work through the negatives and be open and honest about the fact that there were some.
Anyhow, I brought up something that the BF never knew I felt and it kinda threw her for a loop. She’d done something 4 years ago that had resonated with me so much so, that I contemplated ending the friendship various times. However, I never was quite able to. And really and truly, what she did (rather, what she did not do) was so trivial that I can’t even speak on it here. After what ended up being a 5 hour long conversation, she and I were seeing eye to eye again. This could have been the case four years ago. But I still have not been able to break this ridiculous habit of not communicating hurt when I need to.
This weekend, I spent time with my bestfriend and we had the greatest time clubbing it up, drinking it up, and just chilling with the kids. I kick myself everytime I deal with the fact that I still have not learned how to just say it and forget about how other people will feel afterwards. Isn’t that a weird thing for a mean person to be saying? LOL