The Storm after the Calm
I’ve never been in a storm on the water before, but I can imagine that calm that comes after. I guess it’s quite like the patters of rain falling off the trees after the sky is finished pouring out all it’s tears. It soothes and trances you to sleep.
But for me, it’s been quite the opposite. After things went my way for quite a while (save some down times in between), things are just a bit rocky for me. But I’m expecting the calm to come back again.
In the mean time, I’ve been immersing myself in things that I love since I don’t have a special person to channel that love at the moment.
Last night, I was invited to the home of Jair Lynch’s father for a poetry reading. It was the first time since I officially moved down here that I was able to attend something like that. As usual, the space was peace. There were two brothas there that I couldnt take my eyes off of. One, I kept getting caught watching (or maybe I was catching him watching).
opal palmer adisa was the woman reading from her new book, Caribbean Passion. I felt blessed to be part of that crowd. Later that night, I chatted with my sister briefly. I told her where I’d been and how comforting it was for me. She asked me if I read anything. I told her that I’ve since retired from the spoken word business because I’m not that good. Her response baffled me.
To just give you a little history, my sister doesn’t give a hot damn about writing, reading, poetry, or anything artistic. For her, it’s not only boring; but, it’s a set of people trying to be "deep" and sounding the same. I’ve read a few of my very personal pieces with her and she’s seen me perform once or twice. She’s never commented on what she thought about the performance. She just takes it in and moves on.
E: You’re wack
Me: I know. That’s why I’ve since retired
E: No! You’re wack for retiring.
Me:…
It meant so much to me to see my sister type those words. Brief as they were, she was expressing her aggrevation because I quit something that she obviously believed I was good at. I’ve stifled my voice. Even here, with mediocre (at best) writing. I’ve been discussing the process of a new lyrical venture that I am working on with my sister. She thinks it’s an amazing idea and supports it 100%. I’ve not yet shared what that venture will be with anyone else. What I will say is that the words that you will one day see, will be like nothing you’ve seen me write here.
Another exciting facet of my life right now has happened because of the acquisition of a new toy, my electric guitar. I hope I haven’t said this already, but I wasn’t able to have the opportunity to play an instrument as a child because the Public School music program had not yet been incorporated and my mother could not afford to pay for lessons, let alone, an instrument.
So I watched my little brother get the opportunity to play a wind instrument and my sister opt to put down the recorder. I fiddled with the neighbor’s piano and the church’s piano. But I was never introduced to music. I had a quick stint at the drums in a "marching band", but was never formally taught. I purchased an acoustic guitar in my junior year of college, but didn’t have the opportunity to learn. I’ve finally gotten the instrument that has captivated my heart since my kiddie days.
