I was sitting in my room, thinking about my life and the decisions that I am ready to make with regards to how I want to move forward with my life. My room door was open.
As Astrid was passing by my room, I opened up my mouth to comment about my new found desire to go back to school full time.
Before I could speak, she said:
I was just minding my bidness, trying to live my life, when I decided to go check out my daily workout blog favs’. So, I linked onto Singing’s spot to just check up on the GOINGS ONS (Bernie Mac), when I saw that she got called out and had to do one of those Meme thingys that I try to stay clear of. So, I thought it was kinda funny. But something told me to go check out Golden’s spot again. Please try to imagine how dumb I felt when I saw that I’d been called out too…So, here I goes with this Meme thing.
On seeking self
For a very long time, I believed that it was necessary for me to be on the fast track to becoming successful. For me, success has been what I’ve lived for. My motivation is solely based on the fact that I CANNOT live in the future like I did in the past.
I have street credibility and the scars to prove that I’ve lead a life of constant struggle, but that novelty has worn off for me. Now, I have no interest in proving to anyone that I should be respected because I can relate. Seriously, why is it even cool to be able to say that "I LIVED A HARD KNOCK LIFE?"
I grew up with my mother and two other siblings, struggling after my mom gave up her lucrative career to live in Africa with her husband, my father. When we moved back to America, it was a situation of a single mother with two young kids and one on the way.
It was a struggle for my mom to bounce back. She had been so focused on being a career woman, that she had us at an older age. Now, it was almost impossible for her to find employment.
So we struggled…
I vowed that as soon as I could end the struggle, it would be a thing of the past. I haven’t looked back since…
Written on 1-25-05
Gotta type quickly because, for some smart reason, I forgot to charge my damn Laptop’s battery. With that said, I have something like 30 minutes of battery life on this thing. Last night at
10pm , I boarded a Greyhound bus headed to
New York City . My purpose for making this trip was to appear in court to fight two tickets that I received on
11-26-04 .
Let’s go back…
…to my mom who may never read this because she still can’t figure out how to turn on a computer, let alone check email.
The older I get as I figure out my life
The more I acknowledge that you were right.
And here I am this tortured soul
A little more lost as each day goes.
If I sought your wisdom years ago
I would have listened when you told me no.
Instead, I’m older and still lost
I wonder if it’s worth the cost.
And still you guide me day by day
Chastise me less, and then you say:
"It will be hard but you’ll succeed"
So I live this live to make you pleased.