Truthfully Speaking

100 Things

I was bored so I decided to do the 100 things post. I also put the list in my About Me page. Here’s what I thought of:

100 Things

1. I was born in Massachusetts
2. I moved to Nigeria
3. I ended up in NYC, where I grew up
4. My father was/is a polygamist
5. My mother didn’t know this at the time
6. She found out when we moved to Nigeria
7. Needless to say, they are divorced
8. I was a sort of tomboy as a kid
9. Damn, I hate that term
10. My mom, to my knowledge, never wore a pair of pants until I got to college.
11. I only think she wears pants now cuz she is old and feeling cold easily
12. I love skirts, clothes, and fashion in general
13. But I hardly wear skirts
14. People think its because I am still a tomboy
15. But to be honest, I have body image issues. I’m not a tomboy
16. I love shoes, specifically heels
17. But I don’t wear shoes often
18. Cuz I can’t walk in them
19. I have flat feet
20. And I wear an 11 in womens
21. That sucks!
22. I’m a hopeless romantic
23. People tell me that I’m hopeless for believing that romance and love can be everlasting
24. I am also celibate
25. MJ says that for me, celibate means “give a little, sell a bit”
26. I currently teach English to 8th grade special ed students
27. I honestly don’t think it’s my calling
28. I’m too passionate with my anger
29. I want to advocate for these kids
30. But sometimes I feel like they are to blame for their situations
31. Them and their parents
32. I have a Bachelors degree in English
33. I am an aspiring Public Intellectual and Hip Hop theorist
34. Love and Basketball is the epitome of how I once saw my life
35. Brown Sugar is the second part of my life
36. I watch Girlfriends on Monday nights just to see their outfits.
37. I was in my longest relationship for four years
38. I broke it off
39. Told him that I couldn’t be with him cuz of the distance
40. During our second year together, he was sent to Trinidad for a year
41. I was totally faithful
42. I still don’t know why I broke it off
43. I still struggle with that decision now
44. It is hands down, one of the worst mistakes of my life
45. I became celibate about a year after the breakup
46. I’ve been celibate since
47. Maybe my definition of celibacy is questionable
48. But it’s mine…lol
49. I have one piercing on my whole body
50. It’s a tongue ring
51. I have three tattoos
52. On the back of my neck (my hair covers it), a tribal phoenix
53. On my left shoulder bone, a tribal lion head
54. On my lower back, a pagan goddess symbol
55. No, I’m not pagan
56. I’m a huge Neo-Soul music fan
57. I also love dancehall
58. And I can’t get enough of Soca music
59. and Baltimore Club drives me absolutely crazy
60. I can’t understand how I have a problem with Hip Hop but I can listen to B-More club with all it’s misogyny.
61. I like Hip Hop too, moreso now than I once did
62. My friends say that I am arrogant
63. I guess I can see how they would think that
64. However, I am one of the most feeling people that I know.
65. So I guess I have a good quality
66. I’m a huge computer junkie
67. I check my email at least every 15 minutes, except when I am at work
68. Then I check it at second period, 5th period, and possibly 7th
69. I currently live in Albany, NY
70. I don’t think I’ll be living in Albany a year from now
71. I used to be a basketball fanatic. I am too lazy for that now
72. People think that I am a flirt
73. It’s because I pay total attention to people during face to face conversations
74. If I am not looking at you when you are speaking, it’s quite likely that I am not listening
75. But I’m starting to get sick of people thinking I like them cuz I am paying them attention
76. So, maybe if I am not looking at you, it’s just cuz I don’t want to give you any false impressions
77. If I were a lesbian, I’d have tons of girls…
78. I wish I’d get as much male attention as I do from females
79. I didn’t think I would admit that here, but oh well
80. I am 5”10.
81. People say that I look taller
82. I wear a lot of black.
83. But I own tons of other colors, especially red
84. Red is my favorite color
85. I like clean cuts and symmetry
86. I’m more like my mother than I care to admit
87. We never got a long, but I wish she knew how much she has inspired me
88. I say it to her, but I don’t know if she believes
89. She put all her dreams on hold to make certain that we had good lives
90. It’s hard to do stuff like that when you are an older mom caring for young kids
91. Maybe I’m not totally feminine because I watched her assume two roles very naturally
92. Even though she doesn’t appear to be totally feminine, she really is
93. She never could understand why I wouldn’t wear shoes and a skirt like a damn lady.
94. LOL. I wish I would have forced myself to do that, cuz now, its so much harder to do
95. Oh yeah, I’m not an only child
96. I have 5 sisters and 1 brother.
97. I am only close to one sister and my brother is….my brother
98. He’s a damn character
99. I believe that he is going to be rich.
100. Ya’ll remember that you heard it here first!

Just what Crackers said bout’ Niggers

We were in the car two nights ago (my cousin, her husband, and myself), driving through the Ville, looking for Little West 12th Street in the meat packing district. We were making a left at the corner, when some people tried to beat us across the crosswalk. As we turned, two women holding hands scuffled by. Prior to this, Andrew and I had been talking about how much we like the ville. I said I liked it because it seemed so much friendlier than New York itself. I grew up in NYC, so I know about how WE can be. Another thing about the ville is that people aren’t afraid to be themselves.

You see some of the most off da wall outfits, hairstyles, shoes, etc. there. There is a beautiful mix of races, wonderful restaurants, eclectic shops, and interesting people there. I’m a far out person, and I’m conservative with my look, so I am always excited to see my ideas on others. If I could afford it, I would live in the ville without a question. But I can’t, so I don’t, and that’s it.

Anyway, the two ladies past and my cousin commented:

C: (disgusted) Why are those two ladies holding hands?

ME: (sarcastically) Um, cuz they are together?

A: This is the village dear. It’s their space to be who they are.

C: (sighing) There should be some sort of desensitizer to make them forget about being gay. I mean, they can’t all want to be that way.

Me: (sarcastically) Yeah, who ever says, I want to be gay when I grow up, so I can get beat down and laughed at?

A: Honey, that’s not right.

C: What? I mean, it’s ridiculous

Me: (seriously) Yeah, just like when the crackers said that Black people needed to be desensitized. That we weren’t real people. That we couldn’t ever like being who we are. That someone needs to change us. That someone needs to save us. That God wants them to convert us. Yeah, it’s just like what the Crackers said about the Niggers!

C: (realizing my anger and understanding my point) You know what? You are right. No one ever taught me to hate like that. I don’t know why I said that.

Me: This is how they divide us. Give us a little bit more power than someone else, and see us do just the same thing that they did. We are never ever supposed to fall for that trap. If you are anti gay, hey. But when you begin to make solutions to eradicate, you become just like those that hate. I may not agree with some things, but I will never be the one to place a group of people under the ground so we can stomp them out of existence.

Look, I’m not a proponent of gay rights. You won’t find me at Pride in any city, unless I stumbled in there. You won’t see me at an Anti-Gay rally or even a Pro-Gay rally. But you will never hear me dogging people. I will never forget what they did to us. I will never forget about the reasoning for us to be the divided people we are now. I will never walk away from a black person making an anti- anything but white statement, even if we gotta throw dem bows. That’s where you’ll find me. Getting in trouble for what I believe in, and that is the upliftment of Black and Brown people.

AND THE WHITES RULE ON

American Idol

First and foremost, let me say that I do not ever watch that show intentionally. But being forced to watch it for the last few weeks, I’ve developed a great understanding for who should be on top and who needs to be at home. The three black girls should be on top and the red headed white boy, should be watching the show.

So when I heard that the chick with the second best voice got booted, and that all three black girls were in the bottom three, I knew that it was confirmed that the whites rule on. Since it was down to Rueben and Clay, black people have been voting. I aint neva seen a bunch a black folk come together for any one person in my life until I saw blacks voting for Rueben on the strength that he was black. So I know that blacks are out there voting, and voting more than three times a night. Cuz you know that the number is toll free….lol…

With that said, what the responses to a show like American Idol says to me is that despite the fact that the minorities are the majority, we still have little power in dictating what American culture will be. When Rueben Studdard was the last idol, but Clay Aiken sold far more records, and the bottom three to be voted off are the top three voices on the damn show, what is the purpose?

It’s like the Bush/Gore elesctions. Minorities went out and voted. We might have hated them both, but we sure as hell weren’t trying to see Bush win. And Florida declares Gore the winner in that state, and the powers that be said, “over our muthafucking dead bodies”. And all of a sudden people started to realize that they really have no power.

I wouldn’t move anywhere else in this world for fear of America’s bullying, but living in this place sometimes depresses me when I see that no matter how much we as Black and Brown people prove that we are just as good, if not better than others, we still get treated like we are worth nothing. What the fuck is the sense, if the WHITES still rule on?

I may apologize for this post later…lol…no I won’t…But if this is not a reflection of you as a white person, then good for you….

Check this

This is really interesting. I was reading one of my daily favorite blogs (though it’s not always updated daily) and I saw a link to THIS

Now this is very interesting because I was going to post about a topic similar to what I just did there. There was an interesting argument that I read a few days ago that some people had. Apparantly, one blogger linked numerous other bloggers of the same type, onto his page. But he didn’t ask them for permission to be identified on his page, in that category.

It’s kinda like me listing all the celibate bloggers that I know exist on the world wide web without notifying them.

An interesting discussion ensued in this person’s comment box. In my mind it created a question:
When we decide to keep our blogs open to the public, are we waving our right to privacy? I mean, if I state or even imply that I am celibate, is it okay for someone to list me as one of their favorite celibate bloggers?
I am not here to answer that question, but I do link it to celebrities. When you decided that you were going to be famous, did you wave your right to privacy? Are you allowed to be upset when people want an autograph? When do we wave our rights to be who we are when we have already made it public?

Notifying me would be a good idea, but then again, why should you have to? Just asking.. ya know? So, I think I may have linked about two or three individuals to my blog postings in the past. I don’t know if I have asked. And even though you all were posted in a postitive vein, I do want to apologize for not asking first (that is, if I didn’t ask). Now, with that said, I am going to try my best not to link anyone to my post for fear of uproar. LOL

Or is that what I want? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I don’t know if you all read the above link, but this is my response to him.

P.S. I notified him that I would be posting this here:

I landed on this post when reading one of my favorite daily blogs. As I read it, I began to think that this was a very graphic depiction of a deadly serious issue. But as I read on, I realized that it was something of a joke.
I too, am a writer. I absolutely understand controversiality. Sometimes, as writers, we put out work that people may deem to be tasteless. However, I believe that it is the agitation that causes people to begin to think and respond. Writing is not something that we do solely for ourselves, but it is something that we do to share with others. If it were not, we wouldn’t post things publicly. It is quite easy for someone to become offended when they realize that their emotions have been played with. ie, someone thought they were reading about rape and got serious, just to find out that we are talking about a doctor’s visit. But what about pieces that sound sexual, but are about going to the dentist? We tell our mind to react differently. When it is all said and done, someone will be agitated. There will never be a time when everyone is happy. I personally am not affected by rape, so perhaps my take is nonchalant because I cannot relate, but I totally understand the uproar that this may have caused. All I can say is that if you didn’t know before, you now realize the magnitude of power a writer possesses. Good luck in your endeavors…
nai’

Oh yeah! Your girl is gonna be living in DC come July. Not saying what I’m gonna be doing here, but I’ll be around. So I’m packing my bags, trying not to break my damn lease, and moving on down. I know that there are a lot of you guys roun’ herr so maybe we can link up one day. I just had a very busy few days interviewing and chillaxing. I didn’t make adequate plans to meet people and perhaps I should have. So next time folks. I’m leaving DC today to head to NYC for the remainder of the week. Yeah, I’m supposed to be at school. They’ll see me on Monday.

You’ve been omarosa’d

It used to be: You’ve been punked

It used to be: You’ve been had

It used to be: You got got

It used to be: You’ve been shafted

It is now: You’ve been Omarosa’d

LOL